Posts Tagged ‘Gratitude’

When was the last time you thought “wouldn’t it be great if I made more, if I just got my degree, if I just got that job, if I could only find a relationship,” and then you got it… only to realize that it wasn’t as glamorous as you thought it was going to be?

This is the entire story:  Even when you get THERE, there will be other factors, consequences, frustrations, challenges, drawbacks you might not have thought about.  That’s why the expression exists.  Because, as Anaxagoras said in 500BC “Nature never experiences one-sided events.”   Nothing is one-sided.  When my intentions came to pass and I experienced the “other” side, I used to think “oh, it’s not what I thought it was– I’m still not happy,”  and then I graduated to something else to desire and my never-ending pursuit of happiness continued.

When we put our dreams into perspective, we would be wise to foresee the downsides of making our dreams a reality.  You may think this is “negative thinking”, but deep down inside, you know there is truth to it.  Think of what your dreams would cost you—what area of your life needs to suffer to make your dreams a reality—and go for it anyway, if it’s TRULY a high priority for you.

Nobody ever accomplished anything magnificent without it costing something.  Remember, if it doesn’t cost you, it’s not valuable.

So you want to be wealthy?  Make it a priority and decide where you would pay the price to be wealthy.  Is your financial health worth the pain of saving?  For most people it’s not—that’s why they live paycheck to paycheck.  The cost of building wealth and saving money is much too high for a great number of people.

So you want to be healthy and vibrant?  Is your health worth the pain of exercising, eating right, making healthier choices (should I eat the watermelon, or the chocolate-chip banana bread my wife just baked for me?)  Is it worth the money for organic foods, the gym pass, the Chiropractic care, The colonics, the massages?  For most people, it’s not worth it—that’s why so few are healthy and chronic illness is on the rise.  The cost of living a healthy lifestyle is much too high for a great number of people.

So you want to be enthusiastic, hopeful, and fulfilled in your life?  Is your mental and emotional fulfillment worth the time and expense it takes to learn life-skills to deal with adversity and stress, to attend seminars that ask some difficult questions that might challenge your beliefs about who you are?  For most people, it’s not worth it—they just can’t seem to make the time to learn and study these tools– that’s why there are so many depressed and anxious people on medications, who aren’t aware of their purpose, who are deteriorating emotionally, who are victims to their environment rather than co-creators of their world.  The cost of emotional magnificence is much too high for a great number of people.

So you want a dream relationship?  Is having a fulfilling relationship worth the effort it takes to nurture, to spend time with your loved one, to plan “date nights”, to learn the priorities and “love language” of your partner, to study and learn communication and consultation skills?  Is it worth the pain of being truthful and authentic with yourself, with your shadow and sharing it with your partner so they understand the real you?  For most, it’s not worth it—that’s why there are so many unfulfilling relationships.  The cost of relationship magnificence is much too high for a great number of people.

If you want it bad enough, you will think about it and see and feel yourself as though you were in the present-time ownership of your dream. There are only a certain number of hours in a day, but you will manifest what’s a high priority for you—whether it’s health, money, or relationship/career fulfillment…. But be careful what you wish for, because you will get it, and it will still present it’s challenges.

Watch this video.  I just came across it from Esther Hicks, who believes that the prophet Abraham speaks through her.  I still think she’s a bit nutty, but again, her explanation here has wisdom, humor, and depth.  And her answer to the question the guy asks about why he’s not rich yet is so bang on.  I would add something to “Abraham’s” answer:

-Acknowledge that the reason why you haven’t made a lot of money yet is because it’s not a priority—you are not prepared to pay the price of becoming wealthy. (Believe me when I say there is a price to pay for it—this is not a limiting belief).

- Change your beliefs and values—and your life changes.

Would you agree or disagree?

Just an FYI—if you want to discover your values and learn how to take control of your emotions and your life—or you are already in the know but want to kick it up a notch or 3, check out my upcoming Stress and Life Skills events and join us if you are in the Greater Vancouver or Maple Ridge Area.  I get a kick out of teaching people how to get what they want and deal with the consequences of actually getting it.

Looking forward to your comments…

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Walking among the Great Pyramids in Egypt, I realized that what was built over 5000 years ago has stood the test of time because of vision and a goal, mixed with action and deliberate intention.  We forget that in order to get anywhere or accomplish anything worthwhile like the Pyramids, all the souls involved in such an endeavor have to go through fears, frustrations, health issues, anxieties, dramas, family issues, and disappointments.

We forget that just because we’re going through some turmoil, these experiences aren’t just nuisances… they’re part of the things that create our story, what makes us interesting, what makes us who we are.

I had my own fears to face when I left– I had fears about leaving the office for a couple of weeks– that leaving would deter me from the million things I had to do, planning my talks, patients who needed follow up, etc.  I have been afraid for so long that I didn’t go on a honeymoon because I didn’t want to leave the office!

Little did I realize that simply leaving the comforts of my home, getting a rampant case of what the Brits call “runny tummy” that affected us all, having some great (and sometimes not so great) experiences with my family and friends and meeting some of the friendliest (and yet most pushy, most aggressive, and sneaky buggers) people in the world would cause me to grow and learn so much about myself and others.

The highlight had to be witnessing with my own two eyes what the ancients could accomplish because of devotion to their beliefs, their mission, and their purpose.  Walking amongst the Pyramids inspired me to share some of my thoughts of what we can consider when thinking about what we want to accomplish in 2010.  And it made me grateful for the comforts of my home, my patients, clients, students…..and solid bowel movements (in no particular order).

If anyone is thinking of visiting Egypt, my suggestion to you is to be extra cautious when crossing the streets of Cairo!  And get comfortable bargaining and negotiating!  Thanks to Nazila, James, and Mo for making our time so memorable.  Please watch this footage from the Pyramids and if you watch it till the very end…There’s a message for you from a friend we met at the Pyramids… Looking forward to your comments.

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Are you going through a difficult time?  A transition?  Change in relationship status, death of a loved one?  Maybe you’re just lost, or just plain angry and frustrated.  You’re not alone.  We are the most depressed society in the world.  The use of anti-depressant medication is on the rise, especially in North America.  We have the majority of wealth, and among the highest quality of life on the entire planet, yet we’re the most depressed and the most medicated.  Why?

Please tell me if I’m way off base here:  My observation of people over the past 10 years of being in practice, is that our problems exist because we’re looking in the wrong direction and asking ourselves the wrong questions.   Allow me to explain.

Any time you turn on a reflective consciousness, that is, you turn and observe yourself in the moment, you have awakened to a spiritual awareness. It happens every time you look in a mirror.  Observe yourself reading these words.  Who is it that is looking at you?  Answer:  You have reached a present state of “soul awareness”.  You were in the “now” looking from the perspective of your higher self.   The cool part is, that no matter what your faith or religion is, or even if you don’t believe in God, we all have this one thing in common:  Our ability connect, disconnect, and re-connect with our higher self—the part of you that transcends any labels one may put on it.  Titles like “Buddhist” “Christian” or “Atheist” don’t change the awareness.

Misery occurs when we lose the ability to become our own observers and wander aimlessly without awareness of our purpose, comparing our lives to others

I have spoken to many people while coaching or in my seminars, or in my office and they share with me their frustrations about their lives, their health, and their relationships.  I go through similar frustrations as well in my own personal life.  But I’ve noticed something…. Each and every single time we are frustrated it’s because we have stopped looking from the right perspective.  We are disconnected because we aren’t being reflective.  We are immersed in our own values and beliefs, and projecting them onto a universe that really couldn’t care less what our beliefs and priorities are.  Or conversely, we’re injecting other peoples’ beliefs onto ours and beating ourselves up for not living up to them.  When we do either (projecting our values or injecting other’s values), we are giving our power away to outside voices and opinions.  We are being run by fear and guilt and only looking from the self(ego) perspective.  We’re tuned out to who we really are and lose control over our thoughts, emotions, and our lives.

From an enlightened, awakened, aware, soul conscious view, there exists no problem, and nothing is taken personally, because you see yourself as connected to a larger consciousness.   When you are in that moment, getting rejected by your peers for not thinking like them doesn’t matter.  Your family’s or friends’ disappointment of you is deafened by a stronger inner knowing of what you want to be, do, and have.  You recognize your own genius and you’re not seeking approval.

Einstein said, “You can’t solve a problem with the same level of thinking that created it.”  How true.  The moment you turn your awareness to the level of your soul or spirit through reflective consciousness, the problem changes, because your perspective, or perception changed.  It is only through “becoming the observer to the problem” that we can begin the process of finding a true solution.

The essence of true wisdom is the ability of seeing both sides of an event.  It gets easier with practice.  I’m starting to get good at it, although I falter quite often.  I’m now teaching others to do the same.  The results are amazing when you be come aware that from a “higher-self” perspective, you get both pleasures and pains simultaneously.  This awareness helps us understand rather than react to the events of life.  With poise, we create our lives rather than being victims under the control of our environment.  When you have a spiritual perspective, you are not seeking pleasure and avoiding pain, but embracing both in the pursuit of your mission.  I’ve seen people who are labeled “chemical imbalance” (as if there was a way to test this imbalance!) come to such a profound realization that it was their perception creating their condition, they were moved to tears of gratitude and were set free from their emotional states.

Traditionally, the questions we ask ourselves when we are going through challenges have been these ones (let me know if it sounds familiar to you):

“Why does this happen to me all the time?”

“Why do I always get the short end of the stick?”

“Why can’t I just be happy?”

“What’s wrong with me?”

“Why am I such a loser?”

“Why doesn’t he/she just change?”

“Why can’t I be normal like everyone else?”

Great questions to ask, if you want your answer to be a disempowering one—and keep you in victim mentality, putting your life in the hands of others to create, shape, and mold.  The answers you or someone else might come up with (and I’ve heard so many):

“It’s because I was abused”

“It’s because your/my husband is a jerk”

“It’s because I/you have a chemical imbalance”

“It’s because my parents did a horrible job”.

All these come with great stories….and limiting belief systems.  Whether it’s true or not, if you believe it, then it becomes your reality.  Your mind is capable of making it so.

If you’re going through a challenge in your life right now, or are still living in the past from events you can’t seem to get over… Here’s a more empowering way to begin.  Start by asking yourself these questions:

What is the most important thing in my life right now?  What is my purpose?

How does my current life challenge (or past event) serve me in the pursuit of my values and purpose?

These questions force you to change your focus into a spiritual one, and take your conscious awareness to the next level—the only level that can solve your problem.

I have the misfortune of seeing too many people who have unresolved inner and outer conflicts going which have a tendency to manifest as mental and physical health problems.  They’ve been labeled “chemical imbalanced” or “hormone imbalanced”… as if their physiology has made a mistake, or they have some genetic flaw.  They’re prescribed pills to make the problem go away.  The symptoms may resolve, but the underlying conflict remains buried.  Luckily, with a little digging, with questions such as these, there is hope.  And it all comes back to a shift in perception and beliefs.  Without it, the problem remains.

The first place to begin: Gratitude for what you have in your life RIGHT NOW. Why would the universe give you more if you are not already grateful for what you have?

And the purpose of the problem?  Look carefully, and you’ll see that it is the universe’s way to get you to love yourself more so you can turn your attention off yourself and serve others… no matter what your story is.  You instantly free yourself from the “Prison of Self” by doing this.  Ironically, in order to forget yourself, you have to become yourself.  And when you become yourself, your inner drive comes out, and people can feel it pouring from every cell of your body.  And the cells of your body start to work in harmony again. 

We just have to learn to ask the right questions.  Questions that bring us to gratitude for our problems.  Not easy to do, but I guarantee, it’s the answer to all of your problems.  Then we can be grateful for what we have.  No matter what you’re going through.  

For those who STILL have troubles finding gratitude in their current life situation, who still want to run their great story as to why they shouldn’t be grateful, I’ve added a video clip that will cure you.  

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