Posts Tagged ‘Solving life’s problems’

My brother is an a-hole.  More on this later.

My weight fluctuates now from 163 pounds to 167.  Pretty huge how much different we weigh in the morning or the afternoon/evening.  I didn’t realize this, because its never been an obsession of mine.  But man, does your weight ever fluctuate!  Has this been your experience?  I’ve lost about 7-9 pounds and almost 2% body fat judging from this “who knows if this is accurate?” digital scale.

To me, it’s not about how much you weigh… Superficial as it sounds, it’s all about how you look.  Think about it… who cares if you weigh little, like if I was 160 pounds, but with no muscle and it was all flabby.  It’s all about body composition to me, so I never payed attention to my weight.  I would weigh myself a few times a year.

Lunch made by Maria: Romaine Lettuce wrap with turkey breast, hummus, cucumbers, carrots, red pepper, onion and cilantro. FREAKIN DELISH.

The typical breakfast I could eat at White spot. The waiter was so confused at the substitues-- Tomatoes and fruit cup. This whole meal came out to $18.50. Can you freakin believe it? Oh and I had to take them back to request REAL eggs. Newsflash. Most scrambled eggs are processed, ASK FOR THE REAL STUFF!

But oh, the lovehandles.  Confession time:  I always looked at my increasing belly every day, but this competition makes me look at them carefully now as I have been obsessively looking at my hairy-but- nicely trimmed shirtless body every single chance I get. The lovehandles are fading away.  Funny, aside from that, I’d be pretty happy with the rest of it (maybe bigger legs).  It’s just those damn lovehandles.  Just ask any guy who’s working to improve himself physically.  Chances are, he obsesses about them.

You gals think you have it so rough, and there’s immense pressure on just YOU to look a certain way.  Well, I have news for you.  We obsess about it too.  Just look at every guy who hits the gym regularly.  He’s obsessed.  Why?  Because it’s hard to look lean and fit.  You can’t really fake it.  With only a few exceptions, in order to be healthy, lean, fit… there’s a lot of work involved.  If you invested that much time and money and sacrifice eating addictive foods… you’re damn straight you want to see results.

And when we KNOW we can look better, and we don’t look as good as our potential… we get frustrated, depressed, and it effects our self-esteem as well.  Most guys just hide behind it better than you ladies do.

I’m watching a show on TV right now talk about Obesity.  It’s called “Super Size vs. Super Skinny” where a fat girl and a skinny girl get put in a home for 1 week together and have to eat the diets of the other girl—one obese, one almost anorexic.  This is forcing both of them to look closely at their eating issues.  There was a feature on a woman who was so obese, she was now immobile and getting help to breathe from an oxygen mask.  She was miserable.  I will share her words of wisdom for you procrastinators at the end.  I hope it inspires you the way it inspired me.

Wow.  I never realized how prevalent are the emotional issues surrounding eating.  I’m going to explore this more.  I’m so interested.  I’m going to report you what I find… because either you are an emotional eater, or you stop eating during emotional times.  Take your pick…. And I am willing to bet that although you might know which type you are—you probably 1) have no idea why you became this way, or 2) have no idea what you can do to resolve the specific triggers for your over-eating or starving yourself.  I want to help those people become conscious.

I’m not saying I’m going to become an eating disorder shrink.  I’m saying I want to coach people in the process of overcoming their food issues—either starvation or binge eating.  I’m willing to bet that there are some principle causes.  This challenge, which has forced me to face my food addictions and their connections to my stress, has been one of the most educational personal development seminars I have ever gone through (other than being married).    Please stay tuned for upcoming insights on food and your emotions and share your story if you want to.

The Bakhlava-Stress connection.

On Sunday, I went to a family dinner.  My parents were visiting from Seattle, and quite honestly, despite the love we all have with each other—when we love each other too much the way we do, we tend to have many spirited debates.  As I approached my grandparents home, I felt the cravings start to surge.

I had a chicken salad.  My mom follows my blog and knew not to serve me any rice or “tah-deeg”.  That’s the delicious, golden brown, crusty flatbread at the bottom of the pan of rice.  The way my grandmother makes it, my wife and I usually fight for it, sometimes to the point of physical violence. To not swallow the tah-deeg was the toughest pill to swallow— but I made it.  My why is big enough, remember?

Afterwards, she did the worst possible threat to me overcoming my sugar cravings:  She broke out her world famous Bakhlava.  Oh dear lord.  Look at these pieces of heaven.  Enough said.  Ingredients include (other than sugar):  Phyllo, butter, sugar, almonds, butter, sugar, butter, sugar, and cardamon, and more butter and sugar.  When you combine stress with fat and sugar, you have the secret ingredients of obesity.

Do YOU think you could resist these bad boys?

I made it through.  My brother and I went to a movie later on.  Late show.  After dinner.  My brother’s food cravings were insane at the theater.  (He’s an addict like me… I guess it must be genetic).  He realized that if he was to go on a no-processed food diet, no sugar, no grain… there’s nothing to eat at a Theater except water.  He proceeded to order a Whopper Jr. (he said the fact that he got a junior whopper should make it ok).   During the movie, the smell of the burger was making my mouth water.  I was going crazy, feeling the hunger pains surge… I said no.  My brother offers me a bite.  I said no.  He then proceeds to waft the burger right under my nose.  That’s right. My brother is an a- hole.

But I guess that’s what a loving brother does.  Tests my will.  And I thank him, because I passed.  It IS possible if you want to.  You just have to have a reason why.

For those who love McDonalds, here’s an eye-opening video about the Bionic Burger.  I imagine that Burger King is the same.

And by the way…. The quote from the obese lady?

“You can save yourself, if you really think about it.  Never believe that evil little voice in your head that says ‘you can start eating well tomorrow’.  Never listen to it.  That voice is trying to kill you.”

Are you going through a difficult time?  A transition?  Change in relationship status, death of a loved one?  Maybe you’re just lost, or just plain angry and frustrated.  You’re not alone.  We are the most depressed society in the world.  The use of anti-depressant medication is on the rise, especially in North America.  We have the majority of wealth, and among the highest quality of life on the entire planet, yet we’re the most depressed and the most medicated.  Why?

Please tell me if I’m way off base here:  My observation of people over the past 10 years of being in practice, is that our problems exist because we’re looking in the wrong direction and asking ourselves the wrong questions.   Allow me to explain.

Any time you turn on a reflective consciousness, that is, you turn and observe yourself in the moment, you have awakened to a spiritual awareness. It happens every time you look in a mirror.  Observe yourself reading these words.  Who is it that is looking at you?  Answer:  You have reached a present state of “soul awareness”.  You were in the “now” looking from the perspective of your higher self.   The cool part is, that no matter what your faith or religion is, or even if you don’t believe in God, we all have this one thing in common:  Our ability connect, disconnect, and re-connect with our higher self—the part of you that transcends any labels one may put on it.  Titles like “Buddhist” “Christian” or “Atheist” don’t change the awareness.

Misery occurs when we lose the ability to become our own observers and wander aimlessly without awareness of our purpose, comparing our lives to others

I have spoken to many people while coaching or in my seminars, or in my office and they share with me their frustrations about their lives, their health, and their relationships.  I go through similar frustrations as well in my own personal life.  But I’ve noticed something…. Each and every single time we are frustrated it’s because we have stopped looking from the right perspective.  We are disconnected because we aren’t being reflective.  We are immersed in our own values and beliefs, and projecting them onto a universe that really couldn’t care less what our beliefs and priorities are.  Or conversely, we’re injecting other peoples’ beliefs onto ours and beating ourselves up for not living up to them.  When we do either (projecting our values or injecting other’s values), we are giving our power away to outside voices and opinions.  We are being run by fear and guilt and only looking from the self(ego) perspective.  We’re tuned out to who we really are and lose control over our thoughts, emotions, and our lives.

From an enlightened, awakened, aware, soul conscious view, there exists no problem, and nothing is taken personally, because you see yourself as connected to a larger consciousness.   When you are in that moment, getting rejected by your peers for not thinking like them doesn’t matter.  Your family’s or friends’ disappointment of you is deafened by a stronger inner knowing of what you want to be, do, and have.  You recognize your own genius and you’re not seeking approval.

Einstein said, “You can’t solve a problem with the same level of thinking that created it.”  How true.  The moment you turn your awareness to the level of your soul or spirit through reflective consciousness, the problem changes, because your perspective, or perception changed.  It is only through “becoming the observer to the problem” that we can begin the process of finding a true solution.

The essence of true wisdom is the ability of seeing both sides of an event.  It gets easier with practice.  I’m starting to get good at it, although I falter quite often.  I’m now teaching others to do the same.  The results are amazing when you be come aware that from a “higher-self” perspective, you get both pleasures and pains simultaneously.  This awareness helps us understand rather than react to the events of life.  With poise, we create our lives rather than being victims under the control of our environment.  When you have a spiritual perspective, you are not seeking pleasure and avoiding pain, but embracing both in the pursuit of your mission.  I’ve seen people who are labeled “chemical imbalance” (as if there was a way to test this imbalance!) come to such a profound realization that it was their perception creating their condition, they were moved to tears of gratitude and were set free from their emotional states.

Traditionally, the questions we ask ourselves when we are going through challenges have been these ones (let me know if it sounds familiar to you):

“Why does this happen to me all the time?”

“Why do I always get the short end of the stick?”

“Why can’t I just be happy?”

“What’s wrong with me?”

“Why am I such a loser?”

“Why doesn’t he/she just change?”

“Why can’t I be normal like everyone else?”

Great questions to ask, if you want your answer to be a disempowering one—and keep you in victim mentality, putting your life in the hands of others to create, shape, and mold.  The answers you or someone else might come up with (and I’ve heard so many):

“It’s because I was abused”

“It’s because your/my husband is a jerk”

“It’s because I/you have a chemical imbalance”

“It’s because my parents did a horrible job”.

All these come with great stories….and limiting belief systems.  Whether it’s true or not, if you believe it, then it becomes your reality.  Your mind is capable of making it so.

If you’re going through a challenge in your life right now, or are still living in the past from events you can’t seem to get over… Here’s a more empowering way to begin.  Start by asking yourself these questions:

What is the most important thing in my life right now?  What is my purpose?

How does my current life challenge (or past event) serve me in the pursuit of my values and purpose?

These questions force you to change your focus into a spiritual one, and take your conscious awareness to the next level—the only level that can solve your problem.

I have the misfortune of seeing too many people who have unresolved inner and outer conflicts going which have a tendency to manifest as mental and physical health problems.  They’ve been labeled “chemical imbalanced” or “hormone imbalanced”… as if their physiology has made a mistake, or they have some genetic flaw.  They’re prescribed pills to make the problem go away.  The symptoms may resolve, but the underlying conflict remains buried.  Luckily, with a little digging, with questions such as these, there is hope.  And it all comes back to a shift in perception and beliefs.  Without it, the problem remains.

The first place to begin: Gratitude for what you have in your life RIGHT NOW. Why would the universe give you more if you are not already grateful for what you have?

And the purpose of the problem?  Look carefully, and you’ll see that it is the universe’s way to get you to love yourself more so you can turn your attention off yourself and serve others… no matter what your story is.  You instantly free yourself from the “Prison of Self” by doing this.  Ironically, in order to forget yourself, you have to become yourself.  And when you become yourself, your inner drive comes out, and people can feel it pouring from every cell of your body.  And the cells of your body start to work in harmony again. 

We just have to learn to ask the right questions.  Questions that bring us to gratitude for our problems.  Not easy to do, but I guarantee, it’s the answer to all of your problems.  Then we can be grateful for what we have.  No matter what you’re going through.  

For those who STILL have troubles finding gratitude in their current life situation, who still want to run their great story as to why they shouldn’t be grateful, I’ve added a video clip that will cure you.